Seize Everything
Seize Everything

Stupid Laws

I have a post I’m working on about the Gutterpunk game I ran last night. However, I’m in the mood for random tables, and I happened to have this one lying around half-finished, so…



Roll whenever the party reaches a new city, whenever some guardsman is pissed at the PCs, or whenever you feel like it.

1. All weapons must be peacebonded with blue ribbons, which are available for purchase from the city guard for a reasonable fee.
2. All business must be done in silver or copper coinage only.
3. Tax on beards.
4. All wizards, sorcerers, magicians, mystics, seers, or other practitioners of the arcane arts must wear __________ at all times while within city limits.
5. All expert swordsmen (fighter-types of level ____ and higher, change number to suit what’s considered “expert” in your campaign) must spend one out of every seven days helping train the city guard.
6. Blue is prohibited on Thursdays.
7. A permit is required for any interaction with the living dead within city limits (“interaction” includes fighting, fleeing from, being killed by, etc).
8. Mourning period. Everyone is required to dress in black and speak quietly.
9. All armed individuals are required to wear bells tied to their belts, so others may be warned of their approach.
10. Horse/mule tax.
11. Vague tax.
12. All major business exchanges must be overseen by a member of the Lord Mayor’s Guild of Assessment.
13. Tax based on the number of letters in your name.
14. The ruler of the city must always be referred to by his full title and name.
15. Fine for swearing.
16. Tax on foreign currency.
17. Wearing armor without having a banner proclaiming your allegiance and personal symbol is not allowed.
18. Looking directly at a noble is punishable by a day in the stocks.
19. Tax on children. Local ruler does not believe that dwarves, gnomes, halflings or other such races exist, and will count them as “children.”
20. Only citizens can buy/sell certain goods in the city, such as ancient looted idols.

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