Seize Everything
Seize Everything

Chandler’s Table

This blog is about whatever I feel like writing at the moment. Since I think a lot about Dungeons & Dragons, that means this is partially a D&D blog.

Now, I really, really like random tables. Roll a die, get a result, keep on playing. They’re useful little things. I could probably entertain myself for hours just reading through the tables in my collection. But enough about how I’m boring. Here’s a table for you to look at.

“When in doubt, have a man walk through a door with a gun in his hand.”

-Raymond Chandler

Who is kicking down the door, and why?


01. Bounty hunters.
02. Tax collectors.
03. A knight and retinue.
04. Assassination team.
05. An enraged father.
06. An enraged groom.
07. Orcs with swords and guns.
08. Orcs with arrest warrants.
09. Another band of adventurers.
10. Local militia.
11. The sheriff.
12. An entire goddamn army.
13. An angry wizard.
14. Necromancers.
15. One peasant.
16. Demons.
17. The Inquisition.
18. Abomination of magic/science.
19. Cultists.
20. Whoever the party has pissed off lately.


1. Looking for the party.
2. Looking for some people who look like the party.
3. Looking for someone else: apologizes for intruding, and asks if the party has seen who they’re looking for.
4. Looking to settle a personal grudge against one member of the party.
5. Convinced that one of the party members is who they’re looking for, in disguise: does not know which one.
6. On their way to somewhere else.
7. Looking for someone they believe to be with the party.
8. Clearing this dungeon, one room at a time.

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