Seize Everything
Seize Everything

Collegiate Wizards

I’m back at college now, sitting at a new desk in a new apartment. In honor of the new academic year, I give you the following random table, for use with D&D or other fantasy games.


Why Were You Kicked Out of the University Arcana?

01. Blew up something important, such as the College Alchemical.

02. Blew up someone important, such as the Dean.

03. Actually flunked out. No other explanation.

04. Caused a rain of frogs.

05. Got in a magical duel with another student. Both students were expelled, one posthumously.

06. Couldn’t pay tuition.

07. Feud with another student culminated in massive collateral damage.

08. Feud with a professor.

09. Probably would have been allowed to stay if you hadn’t missed the disciplinary hearing.

10. Loansharks! The mundane variety.

11. Loansharks! They’ve got a vial of your blood and can track you wherever you go.

12. Accidentally caused a dragon attack.

13. Started name-dropping greater demons.

14. Suspicion of necromancy.

15. Board of inquiry didn’t believe you had a doppelganger, refused to explain what “you” had done.

16. You don’t remember (memory-wipe from a spell).

17. You don’t remember (too drunk at the time).

18. Automaton you built malfunctioned, assassinated someone important.

19. Prank gone horribly, horribly wrong.

20. Actually still a student: participating in a study abroad program.

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